When we lose love, we often find ourselves. When we give up on love, however, do we grow beyond it? Lessons from ‘Sex and the City’.

When I first started this series of articles, “I couldn’t help but wonder”, back in 2024, I was writing about love from the outside.

It came mostly from observation, imagination, and very little lived experience. I wasn’t out as a gay man yet. I hadn’t truly dated. Lots of things I had to censor so my family wouldn’t understand or see something as gay — or at least too gay — until further notice.

Still, writing about love felt freeing and it came from the quiet hope that one day, it would all make sense.

Today, having come out in 2024, having had two serious relationships — one of which an engagement at that — and a few situationships, all I can say is: it doesn’t make sense at all.

But I’ve lived it.

And now, all those same questions Carrie Bradshaw asked and couldn’t help but wonder about, don’t feel like theory, observation, and hope. They’re personal. Some of them messy, some of them unbelievable. But they feel mine.

So now, in 2026, it’s time to give this series the relaunch it deserves — messy, raw, and unfiltered, because isn’t that what love is about?

For those of you who are new, here’s what we do:

We take the question that Carrie writes about, we look for the answers — if there are any — and we see if everything about relationships has changed over all these years since Sex and the City, the movies, and And Just Like That have been released… or whether we’re still stuck in the same patterns, desperately seeking comfort and validation.

Are we witnessing an evolution or just a more complicated version of the same old dance?

As Season 1, Episode 1 opens, we see that nothing truly new presents itself.

We still belong to the age of uninnocence, as Carrie describes it.

The episode opens with the story of a journalist from London, Elizabeth, who moves to New York and immediately meets a fabulous bachelor who seems promising — nothing like the other fish in the sea.

They have great dates and chemistry, there is potential, and just when everything starts to get serious, the fabulous bachelor ghosts Elizabeth before ghosting was even a term.

What’s different today?

We text. We connect. We share intimacy. We build something that feels mutual — and right when we are on the crest of the wave, we find ourselves ghosted.

At some point, I asked my mother whether ghosting existed in Bulgaria in the 90s.

She’s the perfect person to ask — she had various friend groups and lots of dating experience. I was convinced I was going to hear at least one fascinating story that I could share with you, but…

Nothing.

It turns out that Bulgarians in the 90s still had the dignity to name the problems before announcing the end of a relationship or a situationship. I am now wondering when Bulgarians picked up ghosting, so I’m definitely going to research that and share the results with you.

However, if we look at the current evidence on ghosting, most of us have been ghosted at least once — or have ghosted someone ourselves, or both.

Is it fear of attachment? Is it fear of responsibility?

Do we all safely assume that if we just leave without a word, we can come back at any point looking for comfort?

Whatever the reasons might be, they all welcome us back to the age of uninnocence when, as Carrie says…

“No one has breakfast at Tiffany’s and no one has affairs to remember. Instead, we have breakfast at 7 a.m. and affairs we try to forget as quickly as possible. Self-protection and closing the deal are paramount. Cupid has flown the co-op.”

And then she asks:

How the hell did we get into this mess?

Good question, Carrie.

It seems no one has learned from the past, and it seems things are actually… worse.

In the rush of our lives, we still have breakfast at 7 a.m. while scrolling through Google Calendar, dreading the hell of a day that’s lurking in the little multicolored tabs.

We proceed to going on social media to doomscroll a little, but just enough to start comparing ourselves to the people we follow, only to start beating ourselves up on why we don’t look a certain way or have a certain lifestyle.

And then, after social media, drumroll, we open dating apps. We begin swiping on Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, whatever, hoping to find the perfect match.

I’m wondering — if aliens were observing us, would they assume that the activity of finding a good match resembles the search for the freshest greens and veggies at the market?

Can you imagine? Social media, Tinder, and Bumble have become the new battlegrounds where we seek connections. Yet, despite the technological advancements, disappointment is just a swipe away when we are one step closer to saying — I found them.

And as the first episode unfolds, taking us on a walk around the question, why are there so many great unmarried women and no great unmarried men, it leads us to the main topic presented by Samantha:

“If you’re a successful saleswoman in the city, you have two choices. You can bang your head against the wall and try to find a relationship, or you can say screw it and just go out and have sex like a man.” (without feelings)

After a brief chat about guys that Samantha and Miranda have had sex with and a debate about whether they believe in love or not, led by Charlotte and Carrie, we see Carrie herself in her flat typing the question:

“Was it true? Were women in New York giving up on love and throttling up on power?“

But shaped by my attempt to make this whole thing more universal, I guess the question should instead sound more like:

Are men and women, gay, bi, or straight, giving up on love and throttling upon power?

This question is deep because it feels like in the past, love was about emotional fulfillment, but nowadays, it’s more about love turning into vulnerability and unpredictability. And at the same time, power has always been about focusing on control over your life, prioritizing career, independence, money, status, and self-protection, and most importantly, choosing agency over emotional risk.

Love and power are two different forces. They function differently, but can’t we stay powerful while choosing love?

Today, we all have our guards up, and we respond to affection differently, while power presents itself in various ways, such as:

• not texting first

• not over-investing too early

• walking away at the first red flag

• keeping options open

• saying “I’m focusing on myself”

Is that healthy, or is that actually fear?

Think about it. When we have two people doing the same things I just listed while trying to build some type of connection, is that connection even possible?

People say they want love, and yet they still expect it to fail.

So at the end, we stay guarded, we stay ironic, we stay without commitments longer while waiting, while wanting both deep connection and full autonomy. And when we face the moment of having to make a choice between the two, most of the times we protect autonomy first.

Which leads to a deeper spiral to the same pattern with someone else.

Something that I have observed has changed since the 90s, though, is Stanford’s, Carrie’s gay bestie, comment on the topic.

“I’m beginning to think the only place where one can still find love and romance is the gay community. It’s straight love that’s become closeted”.

Well, I for one can say this is no longer valid. As a gay man, I’ve observed that as we, gay people, might still be romantic and willing to show affection, it’s until most of the gay men get you under the sheets. Once their business over there is done, things are over and you will never see them again, although their promises might be different. That’s what most Grindr dates are like.

Now, as much as we love Samantha’s character, that symbolizes autonomy and empowerment, in order to become like her, we most probably must have gone through something very traumatic that has made us crave that level of control over the situation… to stay within our power and to purely enjoy sex as just… sex.

Later on in the series, even Samantha showed she was capable of having relationships, she was able to love, and she wanted a deeper connection.

So what? How can we stay in control and can we stay in control while being in love?

Many people are confident enough to say they have found the perfect formula. What we must be aware of, though, is that we will have to go through a lot to find our match, and Tinder won’t be really helpful when it comes to this, even if it’s already seen as the normal “place” to find someone to go on a date with.

In the meantime, can we find hope in “sex like a man” while we are looking for that connection that would allow us to stay “powerful”?

Well, Carrie did make her experiment of having sex like a man with an ex-boyfriend of hers, and she left “powerful, potent, and incredibly alive,” as she described, and she didn’t even wait for the poor guy to finish. Victory achieved. After she left the guy’s building, she even bumped into Mr. Big for the first time, who happened to become the love of her life later on in the series.

While this is a nice scenario to believe in, meeting the love of your life after having NSA sex with another person… are the feelings that Carrie mentioned — powerful, potent, and incredibly alive — enough for us nowadays?

Are we, in essence, trading genuine connection for momentary empowerment and pleasure?

Well, when it comes to Carrie, it proved totally pointless after she came across that ex of hers for the second time at a party, because the guy seemed happy and even relieved that Carrie finally understood what he wanted — no commitments.

And just like that, “powerful, potent, and incredibly alive” suddenly became just five meaningless words.

Why? Because it turns out that you have to change who you are even to just get laid. And frankly, after hearing this, Carrie was even wondering why she didn’t feel more in control.

I have been there, too. Sometimes I have felt very empowered (usually when seeking validation) and other times, I have felt terribly miserable after a hookup because of the connection fading away. Getting ghosted after sleeping in someone’s arms, after having a wonderful time together, not just wonderful sex, is far from empowering, especially when you feel so deep. Where do the smiles, the shared conversations, even the shared secrets go after a hookup?

Maybe that’s why after I ended my engagement, I haven’t been able to hook up. I guess I am just waiting for that meaningful connection, the one that will allow me to stay powerful in love and not consumed.

Is love the key?

When Mr. Big drove Carrie home after the party, he told her he wasn’t even half a drop like the men who had sex without feelings. When she asked him what was wrong with him, he told her that she had never been in love.

Can love truly be the key to overcoming disappointments and navigating the maze of modern dating?

Do we even realize how much the meaning of the phrase “falling in love” has changed over the years? Once, falling in love had been framed almost like an event — sudden, overwhelming, and a little out of your control. That’s why the verb to fall is so telling — the lack of control, the risk, the suddenness of it all.

Nowadays, we’ve built a whole vocabulary to delay that fall. Maybe because we fear the judgement of others, and maybe… even our own.

We’ve invented phrases like:

• I have a crush

• I like them

• I’m seeing someone

They all act as a buffer zone, while we still want the look across the room, the instant knowing, the electricity.

So we live in a contradiction — we live fast, but we label slowly.

Is love the feeling that will make us forget about all the disappointments? And can love slowly change somebody who doesn’t believe in its power?

I don’t know…

But there is certainly a glimmer of hope in this age of uninnocence.

Love.

Which leads me to wonder… maybe we stopped falling in love the moment we learned how hard it is to get back up. Or maybe we started calling the fall something else…

Until we’re sure it’s worth the landing.
And until we’re sure we stay in power…

An earlier version of this essay was originally published on I Couldn’t Help But Wonder on Medium. It now belongs to The Wonder Mag archive.

The Wonder Mag is an independent culture publication. It is not affiliated with, endorsed by, or connected to Sex and the City, HBO, Max, or Warner Bros. Discovery. References to television, film, and pop culture are used for commentary, criticism, and cultural analysis.

Originally written in May,

As summer approaches, the world of music is getting louder and louder.

Back in January, everything already looked mapped out. Tour announcements, ticket drops — a year of music was forming and taking shape.

However, now that we’re halfway through May, halfway through the year, more and more artists are announcing dates, extending tours, or returning to the stage entirely, and we’re left wondering:

What’s worth showing up for?

Which of these events, making people come together, will also make us vogue, strike a pose, move, and maybe, just maybe, remember why live music still matters?

With that in mind, here are the tours, residencies, and musical spectacles still worth your attention — and your money — before 2026 comes to an end.

ABBA — Voyage

@bostonglobeYou can dance, you can jive. It’s the spectacular almost-return of ABBA. The show, called ABBA Voyage, is thrilling. The avatars (let’s just get it over with and call them ABBAtars) that perform the 90-minute show, seven days a week, were created by 140 special effects wizards at George Lucas’s Industrial Light & Magic. For the full story head to Globe.com #ABBA #ABBAVoyage #SOS

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Although not an actual tour where you could see the artists performing in real life, ‘Voyage’ marks its fourth year in its base in London with dates throughout the entire year. The hologram experience backed by talented musicians promises to entertain the fans of the band with their greatest hits.

Ariana Grande — The Eternal Sunshine Tour

Announced after the release of the namesake album, ‘The Eternal Sunshine Tour’ marks Ariana Grande’s comeback to touring several years after the ‘Sweetener World Tour’ in 2019. Little is known about her upcoming trek aside from the dates and cities. The rest is mystery — we haven’t seen any parts of the setlist, nor have we seen almost any footage from the rehearsals, which means only one thing — something extraordinary is in the making.

Anastacia — Not That Kind: 25th Anniversary Tour

@sashveeee@Anastacia was actually one of my first ever concerts 20 years ago! 🥺 I took my mum tonight for her birthday 😌 #anastacia #notthatkindtour #imouttalove #london #thelondonpalladium #livemusic #concert #gig #professionalfangirl #girlinthepit

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After beginning in 2025, the ‘Not That Kind: 25th Anniversary Tour’ continues in 2026 with dates all around Europe. The global star Anastacia is expected to celebrate her artistry with her fans. Judging by the live album from last year’s tour, she is taking us on a walk through her biggest hits as well as her recent music.

Bad Bunny — Debí Tirar Más Fotos World Tour

@rubibarbaaBad bunny 29th show 😍 #badbunny #puertorico #puertorico🇵🇷 #choli #pr

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Following his successful residency in Puerto Rico and one of the most talked-about Super Bowl performances in recent years, Bad Bunny is continuing his ‘Debí Tirar Más Fotos World Tour’ in numerous countries in Europe, namely Spain, Portugal, Germany, France, the United Kingdom, and more.

Backstreet Boys — Into the Homecoming

@ros_the_dayLast Winter 2026 Show - Backstreet Boys - I Want It That Way 📍Sphere Update: more shows this July added. Make sure to register on Ticketmaster for presale. #backstreetboys #foryoupagе #bsb #vegas #sphere @Backstreet Boys

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Not exactly a tour, but after the final show of the namesake residency in Vegas, the iconic boyband is expected to settle in Dusseldorf, Germany, where they are set to perform their golden hits along with their new music for a two-week residency. Few things unite millennials faster than hearing ‘I Want It That Way’ live.

Bon Jovi — Forever Tour

@bonjovi100 days till the Forever Tour kicks off 🎤 Who’s joining us at the first show at MSG?

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With concerts in New York and the UK, Bon Jovi is promoting ‘Forever’, blending classic rock nostalgia with newer material.

Bruno Mars — The Romantic Tour

@loloonstagevideosBRUNO MARS - THE ROMANTIC TOUR • 21/06/2026 #brunomars #theromantictour #brunomarsconcert #concerttok

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The global icon has headed all over North America and Europe to promote his latest album — The Romantic. He is performing in some of the world’s biggest stadiums and the public interest in his music is so high that he has announced multiple dates in each city due to the overwhelming demand.

BTS — BTS World Tour

@luisitorufino970@BTS #Mic_Drop BTS WORLD TOUR 'ARIRANG' IN MEXICO CITY

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Having started in April 2026, the K-pop global giants are continuing with their performances until March 2027. With concerts across Asia, North and South America, and Europe, the band continues bringing its music to audiences across nearly every continent.

Celine Dion — Celine Dion Paris 2026

@celinedionParis…are you ready? Register for pre-sale access by April 2 at CelineDion.com

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The highly-anticipated comeback of one of the biggest icons in music, Celine Dion, is official. She is returning to the spotlight of Europe’s largest venue — Paris La Defense Arena — for her 2026 residency. Ten dates have been announced so far from September 12 to October 17.

Doja Cat — Tour Ma Vie World Tour

@tourma_vie@Doja Cat performing “woman” on her #tourmavie! Coming to the UK and Europe soon! 📍 #Tour #fyp #DojaCat #concert

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Doja Cat is continuing the promotion of her latest album ‘Vie’ with shows in North and South America, and Europe. The last performance will be held at Madison Square Garden in New York.

Eros Ramazzotti — 2026 — Una storia importante World Tour

@rikkebreer#erosramazzotti #royalarena 4/3 2026 🥰 @Eros Ramazzotti

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Fans of Italian Music will be pleased to hear Eros Ramazzotti’s one-of-a-kind voice as he embarks on his first in 7 years world tour. There will be shows across North and South America, and Europe.

INNA — Echoes Tour

@lumeryyYou’ll hear why she doesn’t need autotune🫂💗 @INNA #echoestour#inna#innaconcert#babygirl

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The Romanian pop icon returns to the stage with the second leg of the ECHOES Tour.

Olivia Dean — The Art of Loving Live

@concertbecca @concertbecca ♬ original sound - Becca 🎤 🎫 🎸

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Olivia Dean’s music became part of millions of people’s feeds on social media last year, and the artist’s popularity skyrocketed. Olivia is set to promote her latest album ‘The Art of Loving’ with the namesake tour and she has shows across Europe, North America and Australia.

Pitbull — I’m Back Tour

@livenation@Pitbull’s “I’m Back” Tour with @Lil Jon started in West Palm Beach tonight and the crowd showed UP!🔥 #Pitbull #LilJon

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Mr. Worldwide is performing across North America and Europe, while celebrating some of his biggest hits, and he’s promising us a very hot summer.

Pussycat Dolls — PCD Forever Tour

@pussycatdollsIt’s been awhile... Meet your new obsession: “Club Song.” She’s out everywhere now 💋 And soon we’re bringing her to the stage along with all of your favorite PCD songs. The PCD FOREVER TOUR lands in North America, the UK & Europe this summer and fall. Pre-sale March 18th - sign up at the link in bio. General on sale March 20th at 10am local.

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Pussycat Dolls reunited as a trio earlier this year and announced their third world tour. Nicole Scherzinger, Kimberly Wyatt and Ashley Roberts, all part of the original girl group, begin their trek in California and conclude in the UK. Apparently, early-2000s pop nostalgia is still going strong.

Ricky Martin — Ricky Martin Live 2026

@tutepowerRicky Martin en La Paz BCS! Concierto espectacular - Música, Baile y muchas emociones ————- #RickyMartin #LaPazBCS #bajacaliforniasur #Concierto #paratiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

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One of the best-selling Latin artists and a crush of millions of people, Ricky Martin is going to have a busy European summer. The icon is set to perform in Italy, Germany, Turkey, Serbia, Croatia, and more.

Rod Stewart — One Last Time Tour

@attachant_tvRod Stewart performing “Da Ya Think I’m Sexy?” live during the One More Time Tour 2025 @sirrodstewart #rodstewart #dayathinkimsexy #onemoretimetour #attachant_tv #MA❌IMILIAN

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The music legend is extending his farewell tour with more dates in North America and is about to perform in Europe. There’s something emotional about seeing icons revisit the songs that shaped entire generations.

Shakira — Las Mujeres Ya No Lloran World Tour

@dioserpretzel_Shakira - Loca (Live In Copacabana/RJ) #Shakira #LMYNL #LMYNLWorldTour

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After multiple shows in North America, the record-breaking tour by the Colombian artist, Shakira, is coming to Europe where Shakira will be performing for an entire month in Spain.

The Weeknd — After Hours Till Dawn Tour

@2_cadenazJust buy the tickets #theweeknd #theweekndconcert #hurryuptomorrow #xotwod #starboy #metlife #ahtdtour

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The artist is bringing his tour to Europe this summer. Among the countries where he is set to perform are the United Kingdom, Spain, Italy, France and Portugal.

Zayn — The Konnakol Tour

@zaynExcited to sing these new ones for you 🖤 KONNAKOL is out now! #newmusic

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Zayn Malik is about to embark on his biggest solo tour to date. Nine shows are set in the United Kingdom, Mexico, Chile, Argentina, Brazil and Peru.

And somehow, we’re still only halfway through the year…

Which means one thing — the soundtrack of 2026 would still have more surprises left.

An earlier version of this essay was originally published on I Couldn’t Help But Wonder on Medium. This version is now part of The Wonder Mag archive.

“Sometimes I will talk, sometimes I will sing, sometimes we will have fun, sometimes we will be sad. Hopefully there will be little sadness and more joy!” — says Semiramis Pekkan in one of her videos on YouTube.

Originally published in 2023.

Pekkan.

When you hear this surname in Turkey, it usually refers to two of the most iconic Turkish female performers ever. Ajda Pekkan and Semiramis Pekkan. Two sisters, two artists, two lives, two different kinds of glamour - and for me, two women who opened the door to Turkish music.

When people mention their names, you can see the love and the respect that fill their eyes.

Ajda and Semiramis Pekkan are two women that changed my life with their music. They are the ones that made me love with Turkish music. And that is why I called them “The Goddesses of Turkish Music”. And that is why I decided to pay homage to these incredible women with articles, dedicated to each of them.

And just like that… This first part belongs to Semiramis.

As I started listening to her music, I realized that I really wanted to get to know the person she is. I couldn’t help but wonder… how would I understand her interviews in Turkish? I know very, very little Turkish, and I’m really looking forward to mastering it when I move to Istanbul to study and live there in September, but obviously, it still isn’t September and my Turkish isn’t still good enough to understand her.

However, I found out that she has started uploading Q&A sessions on her official YouTube channel and every video has English captions. I felt such happiness when I discovered that and I watch every single video that’s being uploaded.

That’s also why most of the information that you’ll read here comes from Semiramis’s YouTube videos. Is there a more trustworthy source than Semiramis herself after all?

Semiramis Pekkan made her epic comeback this year at Haldun Dormen’s musical last year, after a long and needed break, and she made a promise in her first YouTube video that from now on she’ll be with us very often.

That’s how she actually re-released her iconic single ‘Bana Yalan Söylediler’ (‘They Lied to Me’) in two versions. I firstly discovered the remix and I remember that I played it at least 50 times that day.

I was fascinated to discover that initially she started out as an actress and it was exactly Haldun Dormen that discovered her talent. If it hadn’t been for him to see Pekkan’s potential, she would have never entered theatre. As a self-educated actress, she was really successful and achieving a lot in theatres in Ankara, but due to the hardships related to the low income, she felt obliged to quit playing in theatres:

“We were thinking of what we would have for dinner in the evening, there were times when I used to think about it. It was such a difficult time. That is how it was. I never thought of quitting theatre life, but I was obliged to quit.”

She turned to cinema after theatre and again she was successful, making 13–14 movies a year, but it was again the economic situation that led her on the way to music:

“The music offer came just at that time. Mr Ibrahim, the former owner of ‘Kervansaray’, told me to come over. He said: ‘Ms. Semiramis, I want you to sing at ‘Playboy Club’. He said he wanted me to be a rival to Ajda. I almost had a heart attack. It was like a joke.’

The money he offered her was enough to buy her first house and to live 4–5 years after that. But she had never sung before in her life. She immediately went to her sister, Ajda, to ask her what to do, who advised her to take the offer and to learn by heart a few songs. The other person that she met was again Haldun Dormen, who told her: “You can do it, sweetie.” With the support of these two people, the start of her musical career was set and a star was born!

Despite the desire of the journalists to set Semiramis and Ajda against each other, such thing never happened:

“I never wanted something like that. I decided to draw myself a completely different path. One of my decisions was to sing Turkish songs with a European orchestra. No one had done that before. It was a new experience. How could I be different? It was not possible for me to be a competitor of Ajda Pekkan — it was not possible then, it is also not possible today. We are two very different people. Two different talents, if I have any. I thought we had to have our two different ways back then. That is why the Turkish songs that I loved, which were the only ones I could sing those days, I decided to sing them with the orchestra. That is why nobody could compare me to someone — there was no place to compare. It was such a hit.”

Having only one month to prepare her performance at ‘Playboy Club’, the most elite nightclub at the time, she was so worried that:

“I was dying of fear so much that I bought my house from the advance given by Mr Ibrahim. The second thing I did was to buy a plane ticket to Italy. I decided to go to Rome. It was not clear why. At that time I knew neither Italian nor English properly. I wanted to escape. Probably I thought Italy seemed close by. I bought a one way ticket to Rome, I will never forget it. Can you imagine the degree of my fear.”

During her second ‘Playboy’ program she met her first husband, the journalist Ercüment Karacan, who was also the owner of ‘Milliyet’ newspaper. Meeting him, was the turning point in Semiramis’s life, as she says, because that’s when she fell in love for the first time. Out of her love for him, she decided that “it wouldn’t be right for a woman who is with someone like Ercüment to be on stage”. That was her own decision, unprovoked by no one else.

It was actually Ercüment himself that encouraged Semiramis to keep on recording and releasing music from 1969 to 1974.

Thus, she won several Golden Records and made songs that are still loved and relevant, touching the hearts of generations:

“What do I think now when I see they are listened to a lot? I am very happy, very proud. Being persistent is a good thing. It is very nice for me because I have only one son and one of the most important things for me is to leave good memories for him. I think I can do it. That is what I want to do today.”

After quitting music completely, she moved to London with her husband Ercüment. At that time she couldn’t speak English properly, but still she really wanted to start something new. That’s how she started a business in the fashion industry, setting out only with a single blouse and keeping in mind that fashion was something very close to her.

Opening her boutique in London, she had a partner, who knew 3 languages proficiently and at that time Semiramis started taking English speaking courses.

What’s incredibly interesting was that during this period, was that Semiramis herself brought many popular brands to Europe, including Versace.

“Versace used to make a brand called Genny. One day, as in every profession, there are such behind-the-scenes conversations, it was said that Versace, Genny’s designer, is doing something for himself. A new line, which we should definitely see. Of course, we went running. In Florence, there were shows at that time. There was a coat rack in a hotel room. We said where is Versace? They said here. Where? He was hiding behind the hangers. He was a very young and very shy boy. That is how we met him. And after that, I suppose he had already opened a couple of shops in the Far East. We walked together on the same path and Versace became Versace. Let’s say the first in Europe, if we consider England as Europe. I opened his first shop in Europe, yes.”

Semiramis opened Gianni Versace’s first shop in London, and he respected her so much that he also sent her his collections and asked her to wear all the pieces before the fashion shows.

“There was a big competition because I was also working with Gianfranco Ferre. He was a very good fashion designer, too. They would send the outfits before the fashion shows, but they wished that every single one of their pieces to be worn. I am not that kind of a person to be told what to do. And I have never worn them head to toe. Years later, Gianfranco Ferre said that he knew a lot of people in fashion, women who had jobs in fashion, but he did not know anyone like Semiramis because she never became a prisoner of any designer.”

What’s more — her style had been so unique and special that “Women’s Wear Daily” listed her along with Princess Diana in the top 10 of the 100 most stylish women in the world.

While living in UK, she’s been a mother to orphans, helping them graduate and sending them money. Thus, she changed their life for good, a change and gratitude that will always stay in the hearts of these children.

One of the worst events that marked her life, however, was the loss of her first son, the fruit of her love with Ercüment Karacan:

“May God forbid such a loss to any mother. One of the biggest losses in the world is the loss of a child for a mother. It is a very difficult period. To be able to overcome it and to overcome it healthily. I have dealt a lot with myself and researched a lot. And I think I pulled through it healthily. But of course it is something that you can never forget.”

“When someone’s pain is so fresh and someone comes and says to you, stop worrying, it will pass, it is impossible to understand. What is going to pass? A part of you is gone. It never passes. The pain of a mother losing her child never goes away, never. However, would you accept it? Would it be more comfortable to accept it over time? Yes, time is an important factor in understanding and going through some important moments.”

After a while and after the hardships of life, Ercüment and Semiramis put their marriage to an end:

“We were two people who loved each other very much. In other words, I do not believe that anyone in life loved me as much as Mr. Ercüment did. He loved me so much, and so did I. According to what I learned later, after these losses, serious losses, there are two ways ahead of us. One of them is to deal with the situation by embracing one another, the other is to break up. Unfortunately, we broke up. While I was dealing with everything in my own way, so was he doing, and we grew apart. We could not have known then what was wrong and what was right. But we parted very lovingly and in a great friendship. And may God have mercy on him, he was my best friend, he was my everything until he passed away.”

After divorcing her husband, she met the father of her second child whom she married. Being single for six months, she got 4 marriage proposals, but she preferred Mr Gulu Lalvani:

“Mr Gulu had also been married in the past and had two children. They are two beautiful children whom I feel like my own today. None of the others had a family yet. The reason I chose Mr. Gulu was because I thought he understood fatherhood and family better among those four people. And it is true, he is a very good father. I do not think I did wrong. I lost Emir (her first son), but he gave me Zoran (her second son).”

At that time, Ercüment wanted to meet Gulu, because he wanted to get to know the person that Semiramis was going to build a life with. Thus, the two men went to dinner together. After that, the first person that Semiramis phoned was Mr Ercüment, whose opinion was of great importance to her:

“He said: ‘My dear Semiramis, it is a very right decision, he is a very kind person. I can feel that. He is a very nice person but he has a lot to learn from you’. And he said: ‘All you have learned up until now’, that he had taught me, ‘you will be put in a position to give. But he is a very nice person, God willing, you will be very happy!’ And he told me to go ahead. How sweet!”

Gulu Lahvani, being a really successful businessman, was spending most of his time in Asia. Until then, Semiramis had lived in London, Los Angeles, spent a lot of time in France, but never in Asia. That’s how she started travelling to Hong Kong, China , Japan, Thailand, Singapore. During these years, she also gave birth to her son with Gulu.

And just like that, decades later, in 2022, at the age of 74, Semiramis put the beginning of a new chapter in her career in music:

“The reason why I took such a long break was to be able to spend time with my child. During my life with my first child, I did not have to work, but it was a period when I was working. Then I suffered a lot in my own heart, in my own soul, thinking I should have spent more time with him. Then, when I had my second child, may God give him a long life, I said never… It is my duty to raise this child. I am that kind of a person. And that is what I did.”

“For a long time, it never occurred to me to do something like this all over again. It never occurred to me. I say coincidence but… as you know nothing is a coincidence. It was a message sent to me from the universe, and I got that message. The reactions I got at the time I received it, those sincere articles, the articles sent to me were very, very touching. And I said, well, if I can, let’s do it. This came up at a very good period of my life.”

“I do not look at age. I do not look at life as age. Everyone, at any age can pursue everything they want, something they can do with love. It is that simple. So I said okay, since I received such a message, I am going ahead. Let’s see what will happen. Today, I return to myself, to do something with myself, to produce…”

For Semiramis, age does not have any significance and it is just a number:

“That is why I have never had a problem with age. I do not have a problem today, I also did not have yesterday. I was not upset for why I was young, I am not upset for why I am old. I am satisfied with myself. So if you love yourself, age does not matter.”

Working really hard and going every day to Moda, a beautiful and vivid district in Istanbul, to take singing lessons, Semiramis is excited to bring to light her upcoming projects that she describes as life-changing for her. And the first one — a remake of her iconic song ‘Nerdeysen’ (‘Wherever You Are’), a duet with Evrencan, is coming this Friday, 03.02.

I definitely cannot wait to see the new take on this favorite song of mine and to hear their mesmerizing voices, blending together beautifully.

And as Semiramis says in one of her last video — sometimes she’ll talk, sometimes she’ll sing, sometimes we’ll have fun, sometimes we’ll be sad.

You know how the last days of each December arrive with a slam from the universe to show us that whatever we have done in the year that’s coming to its end… now has to remain in the past. And you certainly know how each December, right before the new year knocks on the door, leaving an invisible trace in the snow, we get flooded with content on the topics of new year’s resolutions, fresh starts, and becoming greater versions of ourselves.

And as I was sitting at home (a.k.a. the Museum of Meltdowns) in Istanbul, in December 2025, reminiscing about the year that had almost passed and the lessons I had learned, I couldn’t help but wonder…

Do we ever pause and realistically take into consideration how our lives actually look before we try what reinvention feels like?

I kept writing in How to Make 2026 the Best Year by Mel Robbins, convinced I had the clarity required to welcome the new year feeling prepared, calm, and structured — as structured as I can be. I set goals that I had neglected in 2025. I set some necessary boundaries, both with some people around me and with myself.

And I waited.

Here’s what I’ve found so far, now in January.

1. Reinvention is not loud.
Until it is.
You don’t announce it, you live through it. It announces its arrival softly and sometimes you don’t even realize it’s come.

2. Starting anew is necessary because of you, not because others told you it’s time for a new beginning.

3. If you’re genuinely happy with your current life, you don’t need to start over. Maybe. Certainly?

4. You can’t start rebuilding if you’re still stuck in the old routines.

5. Old routines will try to devour you into their abyss, but this is the first reality check. Are your foundations strong enough?

6. Anyone can reinvent themselves at any age. Stop thinking of the numbers, think of the outcome.

7. It’s important to be realistic when it comes to your present. There may be things you want to escape (a job, a relationship, a city) but you still might need to keep them a little longer until you build something strong enough so you can leave.

8. Believing in yourself and avoiding self-guilt, can be lifesaving.

9. No one teaches us how to stand still without guilt. Standing still does not mean giving up. It means building a strategy that you can later implement.

10. I need to read self-development books now. I take what I need and release what I think should be released.

11. The universe doesn’t reward us instantly with peace, but with chaos. Thus, we see what our boundaries and limits are.

12. Am I doing everything right? What even is right?

13. Every day you do something new that’s bringing you closer to your goals is reinvention.

14. Becoming yourself doesn’t necessarily look like a glow-up. Sometimes it’s just pushing through survival until the next moment of freedom.

15. Waiting doesn’t magically save you, as much as you believe in magic.

16. Sometimes you will have to deal with some of your worst traits because they will reveal what they are.

17. The most uncomfortable moments are exactly the ones that show us what needs to change. They’re a sign that movement must happen. Discomfort arrives first, though.

18. A question struck me:
What if reinvention isn’t the actual moment we change, but the moment you admit the old life no longer fits?

Think about it. The moment you admit to yourself that the old life doesn’t serve you and that you need a way out can be considered reinvention, can’t it?

19. Rebirth starts when we have run out of ways to avoid ourselves.

20. Small wins are still wins. Tiny steps are still movement.

21. Learn your traumas. Look for them in the past. Usually, it’s an old version of ourselves that’s gripping us. Make peace with it.

22. It can’t be difficult, right? This is probably one of the most misleading questions you can ask yourself.

23. And when you realize how hard it is, you ask yourself… Can’t it just be easier?
It doesn’t need to be easier, it’s just different.

24. Trusting yourself is probably the best action you can take when you’re feeling low.

25. I didn’t deserve this to happen.

26. But tomorrow will be better.

And as I waited and experienced life in the last one month, these twenty-six thoughts crossed my mind and stayed with me. I realized something. Making the attempt to start changing your life means one thing.

You’re on the right path and you cannot go back. And I realized why.

Once you’ve tasted the fruit of rebirth, even just a little, you would want more of it. Maybe not right away, because you can get caught up in the old routines easily, but you will not go back to who you were.

My closest people know how hard 2025 was for me. I made mistakes, I lived in survival mode for almost a year, and yet… there was always a quiet voice calling out my name.

At one point, I turned to it and it said: you are meant for more.

There were hardships, there was drama, there was the heaviest downpour I’ve ever witnessed, there was the largest power outage I have experienced, exhaustion… and stories I’ll save for later.

If you have checked my publication, “I Couldn’t Help But Wonder”, under its title, there is a line: “and I kept asking.”

Ask. Give yourself permission to ask. Look for ways to improve your life. Give yourself some grace. Save yourself the meltdowns because life, in its own crazy, twisted, and silly way, always shows you that the best is yet to come.

And the bravest reinvention is allowing yourself to become a different version of yourself. Different from your past versions.

And if even one of these twenty-six thoughts stayed with you after reading this…
then rebirth has already begun.

This essay began as the first entry in a monthly series on reinvention. The series returns in June on The Wonder Mag.

An earlier version of this essay was originally published on I Couldn’t Help But Wonder on Medium. This version is now part of The Wonder Mag archive.

What falling for the wrong kind of mystery taught me about modern love.

On a cold night at the beginning of February, the unexpected happened.

I’m lying…

I had just returned to one of my worst patterns.

I was lying in bed in my Istanbul home — also known as the Museum of Meltdowns — with a notebook and pen beside me, staring at my phone as if it were a crystal ball holding the meaning of life. Well, for a hopeful (or hopeless) romantic like me, that phone could really feel that powerful, especially when I was in love.

And that was exactly the case.

I had fallen for a friend.

He was kind and intelligent, funny, and unavailable in the exact way my old wounds recognized instantly. The kind of unavailable that gave me just enough uncertainty to feel like home.

Now that it’s April — two months after that battlefield in my heart, and two months after starting the much-needed therapy that followed — I am revisiting the piece I wrote that night in February.

And all I can say is: thank God I started therapy.

Because rereading these pages reminds me how easy it is to turn waiting for one person’s text into a full-time job when you have forgotten the fact that your own life exists.

The strange part is that, back then, I thought I was doing well and that I had it all figured out.

I was getting back on Medium. I was creating more structure in my days. I believed I had figured things out. But when the backbone of your life is not yet strengthened, it is so easy to fall into the same traps of life again.

And again…

I had fallen for a friend.

Isn’t that how trouble always introduces itself?

A familiar face. Good old memories. The easy conversation. An unexpected kiss on the sofa after a night out. A few days and nights together. Enough adrenaline to awaken hope, and enough distance to keep me starving.

In other words, my nervous system was fascinated.

We spent time together. We slept together. We laughed together.

Then came the silences, the strange behavior, the delayed replies.

He came to my home once, and I cooked dinner for us. We made love, but he did not stay over. He left for his place alone, and something in me knew that something was off.

The lack of clarity.

The exact lack of clarity that can turn a grown man into a desperate French poet.

I couldn’t believe that someone I called a friend could avoid naming what had happened between us — what was happening between us — and refuse to bring the conversation into the light.

The worst part was that I was avoiding it too.

And just like that, I couldn’t help but wonder:

Why is it that some of us can survive heartbreak, betrayal, even failed engagements, yet still feel mortified by a text that doesn’t arrive?

I knew he was leaving Istanbul for a while, and I was craving clarity, craving to know where I stood.

At a certain point that night — that February night — half-heartbroken and half-humiliated, I threw myself onto the bed with a notebook and a pen, and I wrote what you’re about to read.

“What happens when you open your heart again after the worst betrayal you’ve survived?“ — I was referring to the collapse of my engagement failed - a betrayal that had left me questioning not only love, but my own ability to trust it again.

“Pain.

Unknown, dysregulating, suffocating pain.

You sit waiting for a text as if it would never come.
You try to stay hopeful.
You try to believe.

And yet… Nothing seems logical. Nothing even gives a point of meaning where you’re supposed to find air, warmth, and space to just be.

I didn’t even think I would ever fall in love again.

But one kiss, one friend, a shared moment of intimacy and passion were apparently enough to set my heart on fire, send me to the heavens, drag me back to earth, pull me through hell, and transcend me into the unknown.

I love deeply.

It’s not something I force. It just happens when the person is… right?

I have no more tears to cry.
I have no more strength to carry that burden.

I only have a heart that still somehow cares.

A heart I realized was still somehow capable of loving and craving someone.

A mind that will never rest until I am beside the person I am in love with, trying to prove I am worthy of their attention.

I’m asking myself what I’m gonna do. And it’s one of those moments that have grabbed me by the throat.

Will I ever be enough? Will I ever feel like enough?
Will I ever believe in a love that’s not chaotic and intense?
Why do I keep putting myself through so much pain?

I am waiting for a text from that boy. Something simple like:

“Do u wanna meet?”

And I’ll be there.

Not to get clarity, just for the high of the moment.
Not to have the serious talk my soul is waiting for, just to indulge into the heat of the moment.

And once I get the text, I’ll rise from the ashes like a powerful newborn phoenix until we separate, and then I’ll burst into flames just to disintegrate gracefully into ashes again, while waiting for the next message.

And the next high.

I don’t really know how to love someone while bracing myself.

I hope I’ll learn.

P.S. He texted.

How very cinematic of me, right?

After he texted, we did meet, but we didn’t have the talk.

We went out, and I hoped we would go back to his place, wake up in the morning together, and that I’d finally bring up the question — What are we now? — myself.

None of that happened. He went back to his place alone, and I walked myself home.

I don’t need to tell you how confused I felt. Most of us already know.

A few days later, I entered therapy for the first time in my life, and it was grounding. Therapy teaches you unromantic things very often, but you understand yourself and learn how to change. I’m learning so much about myself and the years of unprocessed trauma. I’m learning to recognize my emotions and register them.

I am learning to set boundaries.

And I have rarely felt happier.
Truly.

Looking back at that February version of me, I am shocked I was still even functioning at all. I was literally awaiting salvation that would come via a WhatsApp notification.

And yet I do not think that version of me was pathetic.

He was simply trying to love with tools built during years of survival mode. He was lonely.

Hopeful or hopeless.
Triggered.

But still trying and wishful to finally change. Otherwise, he would never have booked that first therapy appointment.

He was also brave enough to open his heart again after it had been broken before.

Had I known then what I know now, if I could only sit beside that boy in the Museum of Meltdowns, I would give him a pat on the shoulder and maybe, just maybe, I would whisper to him:

The message you are waiting for won’t give you oxygen.
You should be brave enough to bring up the hard conversation by yourself.
And actually, anyone who likes you should sound less confusing than this.

And dear readers, if what I shared with you could be called that was me then, then this is me now, is wanting to tell you this, in case you’re going through something similar:

If you’re waiting for someone to save your life, start by returning it to yourself. By yourself. You are enough. You are lovable. And love would never require you to shrink into waiting.

An earlier version of this essay was originally published on I Couldn’t Help But Wonder on Medium. This version is now part of The Wonder Mag archive.

If there is an art to inspiring an audience, a few names come immediately to mind — Madonna, Jennifer Lopez, Britney Spears, Cher… Christina Aguilera.

My earliest memories of Christina are visual rather than factual, and they date back to the candy-colored world of ‘Candyman’ flickering on the television screen at my grandparents’ apartment when I was four or five years old. Years later, I would discover, again on a television screen, the neon confidence of “Your Body”, the beat of “Feel This Moment”, and… I just remember watching Xtina with fascination that was provoked by her voice, sense of fashion, and beauty.

And just like that, those two singles became my own embodiment of liberation and hope that I would go back to again and again at such a young age.

I returned to Aguilera’s music in 2018, with the release of ‘Liberation’. I was sixteen and I found not only an artist I liked when I was in my early teens, but one who had spent years turning power, sexuality, motherhood, pain, and forgiveness into art. And I stayed.

Since then, I’ve been following her career passionately and I’ve become the kind of fan who pays attention to every new release, event, show or tour she’s done.

For the relaunch of my weekly quote series on ‘I Couldn’t Help But Wonder’ which is built around reinvention, survival, confidence, and finding your voice in a world too loud, there couldn’t be a more fitting artist than Christina. Her words — much like her voice — are full of wisdom, force, and sometimes fragility, therefore, she is exactly the artist to remind us that we are allowed to speak, allowed to change, to desire, and to become a little louder in times that occasionally ask us to shrink.

On Voice and Storytelling

1.“The awards are beautiful and they’re much appreciated and I’m grateful, but it’s the storytelling and the connection with people that truly just… I could cry thinking about it… it means the most.”

2.“I made a promise to myself that I would use my voice and position for something deeper than just making records. Having grown up in an environment that was chaotic I realized that sharing my story was vital in helping others who may struggle to have a voice themselves. From then, I discovered that the messages, lessons, and stories of my songs are one of the greatest gifts I could offer.”

3.“I continue to listen to my heart and sing about things, sometimes painful things, that could help others. It means so much to me to grow together with my fans through the years!”

4.“I think that the best way you can get honesty across in your music, to connect and relate to people is to be motivated by personal emotions, stories and feelings.”

5.“When there’s no one else look inside yourself — like your oldest friend — just trust the voice within — then you’ll find the strength that will guide your way. You’ll learn to begin to trust the voice within.”

On Reinvention and Self-Authorship

6. “There’s such a rule book that’s handed to us and I was given it since I was very, very little, and the older I got, the more I realised — you’re either going to be a part of the problem or you’re gonna stand up against it and create your own story, and that’s what ‘Stripped’ was about.”

7. “Nothing is ever a setback. If anything, it just motivates you for what’s next.”

8. “You need to find the power within to make [things] happen for yourself. When you realize this, you are unstoppable.”

9. “I’m not a 9-to-5 woman who has the same kind of lifestyle for years on end. I couldn’t do it.”

10. “One of the things that I truly have had to learn… is to trust your own instincts no matter what people might say about you, no matter what criticism or what negativity might come your way for just being who you are, and just being yourself, it’s so important.”

On Pain, Forgiveness, and Healing

11. “As a mother, I want to be the strongest, healthiest version of myself for my children. I wrote “No Es Que Te Extrañe” to come full circle, accept, forgive, and be set free. Forgiveness begins when heartache turns into freedom.”

12. “I think it’s important to let go of things that hurt us so badly that we end up being held prisoner by them. So this is a song about that, it’s about forgiving and sort of wondering about someone that may have hurt you — but understanding that they might have a story as well, they might have things that led to certain choices.”

Before you continue, you can read more about “No Es Que Te Extrañe” here:

Christina Aguilera: It means so much to me to grow together with my fans!

13. “Time heals everything. Sometimes you have to go through that pain and heartbreak so that you can get to the other side and come out on top.”

14. “It’s important to recognize your own self-destructive behavior and be honest about it. You’re only hurting yourself or losing out on your truth and happiness. I’m not afraid to face my own personal stuff. It’s so important to dig it up and figure it out and move on.”

15. “A lot of people are afraid to face themselves, especially when something goes wrong. But that’s important because if something happens within a relationship, it could be how you’re allowing someone else to treat you.”

16. “Tune out and turn in. Take your space, log off, put your mind, body, and soul first.”

On Womanhood, Sexuality, and the Gaze

17. “Why is a woman’s sexuality always under so much scrutiny? Why can’t she do exactly what she pleases without being called a million things?”

18. “I think all of us as women have this super-human quality. We create life, we give life, we are the sources of life for our children — we’re all pretty bionic.”

19. “Growing up with the childhood that I had, I learned to never let a man make me feel helpless, and it also embedded a deep need in me to always stick up for women.”

20. “You can never be too much of anything. You can never be too perfect, too thin, too curvy, voluptuous, this, that. I’ve been on all sides of the spectrum as far as any female in this business…
…As long as I’m happy in my own skin, that’s all I need. I’m happy with where I’m at. I have a boyfriend that loves my body. I love my body. My son is healthy and happy. That’s all that matters.”

On Ambition, Vulnerability, and Becoming Softer Without Becoming Smaller

21. “The most vulnerable people have tough exteriors because they are very scared inside, and it’s very hard for people like that — people like me — to open up. But playing it safe means you stop being open to learning. I always try to find the challenges.”

22. “That overachieving, ambitious, nobody-can-hold-me-down attitude I had, which came from a place of anger and aggression, has transformed into feeling like I will take on the world, but I will do it with an embrace, rather than with my dukes up.”

23. “People expect me to cry, but I always laugh when things go wrong.”

24. “Everybody needs that one person that takes you to the right place to see all the positives in your life.”

25. “My first love was singing and I had no time for boys.”

26. “I’m a big micro manager; I’m a stickler about organisation; everything needs a place, a purpose, and micromanaging myself even when I’m in the studio.”

And now that you’ve just read these twenty-six pieces of wisdom from an artist who has relentlessly continued reinventing herself in all aspects of life, I couldn’t help but wonder…

Which one of the quotes resonated with you the most, and what is a lesson you are willing to carry throughout your day?

An earlier version of this essay was originally published on I Couldn’t Help But Wonder on Medium. This version is now part of The Wonder Mag archive.

When I first started listening to Madonna, I was still in my early childhood years, and I can remember my mother — an absolute Madonna fiend — standing in front of the enormous music collection displayed in her bedroom at my grandparents’ home, choosing a CD, inserting it into her stereo system, and introducing me to the art that would eventually become the soundtrack of my own life.

Back then, at the age of four or five — the earliest memories I can recall of Madonna — I could not understand a single word she was singing. I could enjoy some of the songs, especially Music, mostly because of its animated video, but it was not until I was sixteen that I began to understand Madonna not only as a pop star, but as an artist. Since then, I have followed each release of hers with passion and curiosity, and the particular kind of anticipation that comes with wondering what a woman who has reinvented herself for more than four decades will do next.

In 2019, when M released Madame X, I was enchanted by the socially charged, politically restless approach to what was going on in the world, and it convinced me that very few artists nowadays still have the will — or the nerve — to challenge the norms and break the status quo. It is as if we are living in an era where everything is overproduced, overmarketed, overtrended, and frankly over-same. So I was lucky to witness the unveiling of the entire Madame X era in real time, and I cherish it deeply, because its music helped shape the ending of my teenage years.

Last year, when I heard whispers that she was preparing a second part to Confessions on a Dance Floor, once again produced with the iconic Stuart Price, it was certain that we were about to witness yet another reinvention from the artist who changed the language of pop music with almost each major release.

Initially, the idea for this very piece was to be part of my weekly series of quotes by significant artists. However, with the release of Confessions II — The Film on YouTube, the idea needed a new doorway, because Madonna had just returned to the dance floor with a 13-minute-long visual that left viewers once again in awe of her creativity and artistry.

The film matters because, as she has done many times before, Madonna uses the visual form to reveal what is of utmost importance to her as an artist, what she pays attention to, and how she perceives this new era of her music. The movie is a symbolic reenactment consisting of several acts portraying how she is observed by the media constantly; the significance of letting go; winks at key moments from her career, the importance of her loved ones, and the strange intimacy between performance and survival.

Draped in stunning Dolce & Gabbana looks, and referencing key moments from her career, Madonna takes us on a wild ride through six songs from the upcoming Confessions II set for release on July 3.

The film opens with I Feel So Free, the first taste she shared from the album, before transporting us from a dimly lit apartment into a mystical forest to unveil Good for the Soul — a song that seems to celebrate the act of letting go of what no longer serves you. Is it just me, or do her outfit and hairstyle remind me of her opening act from The Re-Invention Tour?

Then in the next part of the movie where One Step Away begins, Madonna confronts the public opinion on the superficiality of dance music by saying that:

The dance floor is not just a place, it’s a threshold
A ritualistic space where movement replaces language.

And over the span of her over 40-year-long career she has made it clear that “music makes the people come together” not only through sound, but through performance, image, choreography, provocation, and her entire artistry. Not to mention that the community she has created around herself is one of the most loyal fan bases in pop culture, her legacy admired by all generations.

The film also features the lead single Bring Your Love, a duet with Sabrina Carpenter, where Madonna is wearing a rhinestone-embellished top from the FW 1991/1992 Dolce & Gabbana collection, and the track Danceteria, named after the legendary New York club where Madonna would perform Everybody for the first time and where she met her longtime friend Debi Mazar. In the Danceteria section there are numerous celebrity cameos honoring nightlife and memory, including Debi Mazar herself, Kate Moss, Benedict Cumberbatch, Richard E. Grant, Odessa A’zion, and Gwendoline Christie, Shygirl, Arca, and Honey Dijon, and performance artist-dancer Prince Lyons.

The film then continues with Read My Lips — a collaboration with Feid — personally among my top three favorites from what we have heard so far — before returning to the same dimly lit apartment from the beginning of the movie. There during the continuation of I Feel So Free, her daughter Lourdes Leon appears among masked camerawomen and unmasks her face. In that final moment, she is the only presence there that matters, ending the film with the command: “Cut, bitch!”

The excellence of this project lies in how in times when visuals, production, and artistic world-building (the so called ‘eras’ of an artist) feel secondary, Madonna releases a short musical film. According to her, a video nowadays feels too cheap, and this film not only promotes an album, but becomes one of her most remarkable projects to date. It again challenges the recently accepted norms of diminishing the importance of visual representation and reassures me that there can still be salvation for pop music, and music in general.

Instead of writing another thorough review though, each interpreting the film in the writer’s own way, I wanted to return to the language of Madonna herself — the lines, lyrics, and declarations that have made her career feel like one long act of self-authorship.

Divided into sections by lines from Confessions II — The Film, here are 26 Madonna quotes worth carrying into 2026.

The Dance Floor Is Not Just a Place, It’s a Threshold

1.“I’ve been popular and unpopular, successful and unsuccessful, loved and loathed, and I know how meaningless it all is. Therefore, I feel free to take whatever risks I want.”

2. “They call me the Queen of Pop. I know it’s a compliment, but the monarchy is in the past. I am not.”

3. “The most controversial thing I have ever done is to stick around.”

4. “My light will never fade. Not everyone is coming to the future, but I am. I’ll keep going today, tomorrow and the next 100 years.”

5. “Count my achievements, not the number of years I have lived on this planet.”

“Create a New Persona, a Different Identity”

6. “I’ve never gotten complacent. I’ve never gotten comfortable. I keep pushing myself into uncomfortable positions and taken risks. If you keep putting yourself in challenging, new adventurous situations, then you keep yourself alive and youthful.”

7. “No matter who you are, no matter what you did, no matter where you’ve come from, you can always change, become a better version of yourself.”

8. “I am the result of the good choices I’ve made and the bad choices.”

9. “To me, the whole process of being a brush stroke in someone else’s painting is a little difficult.”

10. “The world is full of people who talk the talk, but how many of us walk the walk?”

“Everyone Here Is a Work of Art”

11. “I’m tough, I’m ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a b*tch, okay.”

12. “A lot of people are afraid to say what they want. That’s why they don’t get what they want.”

13. “I stand for freedom of expression, doing what you believe in, and going after your dreams.”

14. “In life there is no real safety, except self-belief.”

15. “Every time I do a show, I die a little bit, but no shit is worth doing unless you’re willing to die for it.”

16. “If your joy is derived from what society thinks of you, you’re always going to be disappointed.”

“You Cannot Break Me”

17. “Power is being told you’re not loved and not being destroyed by it.”

18. “To the doubters, to the nay-sayers, to everyone who gave me hell, and said I could not, that I would not, that I must not, your resistance made me stronger, made me push harder, made me the fighter that I am today.”

19. “Around 40 years ago, I came to New York City with nothing but 35$ and a pair of dance shoes. I told the taxi driver to take me to the centre of it all. He dropped me off at Times Square. I was 19 and terrified, but it was just the first step. I knew that someday with a lot of hard work, I’ll be known not just in New York City, but all over the world.”

20. “The censoring that’s going on in the world right now, that’s pretty frightening. No one’s allowed to speak their mind right now. No one’s allowed to say what they really think about things for fear of being cancelled, cancel culture. In cancel culture, disturbing the peace is probably an act of treason.”

21. “There are no living role models for me, because nobody does what I do. And that’s kind of scary. I can look back at women who I think were great and amazing — freedom fighters, like Simone de Beauvoir or Angela Davis — but they didn’t have kids. Being a single parent of six children, I continue to be creative and be an artist and be politically active, to have a voice, to do all the things that I do. So, I mean, there isn’t anybody in my position.”

“Shut Your Mouth, Read My Lips”

22. “Everybody loves you when they are about to cum.”

23. “Real intimacy has to be earned. Right now, especially with social media, giving us this illusion that we’re all connected and that we all have this instant connection to people, we have no connection to people. And Instagram is a lie. I mean, it’s fun, but as long as you accept it as fun, and that it’s not true.”

24. “We learn our lessons; we get hurt; we want revenge. Then we realize that actually, happiness and forgiving people is the best revenge.”

25. “All the challenges that I had to face 20 years ago seem ludicrous. What I am going through now is ageism, with people putting me down or giving me a hard time because I date younger men or do things that are considered to be only the domain of younger women. I mean, who made those rules? Who says? I’m going to keep fighting it. Ten to 20 years from now, it’s going to be normal. People are going to shut up.”

26. “I was lucky enough to experience life as an artist before the phone and Instagram and social media, because I did have that time to develop as an artist and a human without feeling the pressure of judgement of other people. I think Instagram is made to make you feel bad.”

And this is why Madonna is always relevant. She has continued to turn the industry, the backlash, the ageism, the ridicule into movement and into another version of herself.

Confessions II — The Film is a wake-up call to remind us that in Madonna’s world, the dance floor is the space where reinvention takes place, and where the body becomes language.

The lesson in 2026 is not to become less, that is never the lesson. Maybe, just maybe the lesson is to keep moving, keep evolving, keep disturbing the peace.

And, when necessary, cut the scene yourself.

I couldn’t help but wonder, which quote resonated with you the most?

An earlier version of this essay was originally published on I Couldn’t Help But Wonder on Medium. This version is now part of The Wonder Mag archive.

I spent years waiting for a different life, and then I accidentally started building one through repeated mornings.

It began, as most changes do, on an ordinary day a month ago. I woke up, spent some time staring at the little multicolored blocks on Google Calendar — chaos and hell lurking inside them while only pretending to be marking my teaching slots — dreaded the day ahead, ate breakfast, and came to my office.

I am kidding, I do not have an office.

What I have is a place that marked the beginning of my reinvention and homecoming to my true self — the media person eager to craft beautiful pieces about culture, music, art…

That version of myself was not always so difficult to locate. At nineteen, he was working as a reporter and video podcast host at one of the biggest media companies in Bulgaria. He was curious, ambitious, hungry for culture, and aware that his future belonged somewhere inside media, interviews, music, art, fashion, and the strange electric glamour of public life that he had already grown used to.

Then life happened. Or, more precisely, Istanbul happened. Love happened. Breakups. Rent. Teaching, because I couldn’t work as a journalist in Istanbul.

And that self, I buried accidentally somewhere between my first breakup and my permanent relocation to Istanbul. And thanks to the very practical obligation of paying for an adult life and the chaos of day-to-day survival, my weeks became filled with teaching English, more teaching, detesting teaching, wanting to escape teaching, and preaching how I wanted to return to television, return to writing, and, most importantly, return to myself.

Somewhere in this havoc, I would write personal essays, each of which became my ‘comeback’ to writing.

A comeback only until I went to bed past two in the morning again and woke up around noon to begin teaching again, or a comeback until I would get distracted by the next foreigner in Istanbul and disappear into his temporary orbit. A comeback until I found my next actual partner, got engaged at twenty-three, and then watched that imagined future collapse in a plot twist so vulgar and operatic that it deserved its own press release — which it got.

Unfortunately, my days last year were full of chaos, for which I blamed myself relentlessly.

Recently, I have started to wonder whether chaos felt so familiar because, for a while, I was mistaking it for freedom.

I had recently come out as a gay man and had moved to Istanbul. I was living alone, working constantly, falling in love recklessly, trying to survive financially, emotionally, and creatively. I felt frivolous, and that version of me accepted that maybe, just maybe, freedom meant chaos. Maybe it was supposed to look like late nights, cigarette smoke, missed mornings, beautiful strangers, overbooked calendars, and writing at the edge of exhaustion.

What I was not giving myself was space.

The space to just “tune out and tune in” — a line I had recently returned to while working on my Christina Aguilera quote piece — process what had happened to me, accept that teaching is temporarily funding my next chapter and start executing from where I was.

But unconsciously, chaos was still finding me, or perhaps it was actually me still finding chaos.

That day a month ago, after having had breakfast, I entered my office — the Atatürk Cultural Centre, one of the most marvellous places I have encountered. I ordered my usual hot chocolate with coffee at the café, then went inside the library, which in its purest essence is an excellent example of craftsmanship, with its wooden interiors, ceiling-high shelves and windows, and a remarkable collection of books on fashion, art, cinema, design, and culture.

I sat at my usual desk, opened my laptop, and stumbled upon the racing thoughts in my mind about how I could return to my actual identity.

I remarked on the fact that I was already doing way better than in March, considering I had started therapy in February. I was also back to writing consistently, but I was still craving more output, because I really do not associate myself with being a teacher. All that “could-a, would-a, should-a” you have just read regarding the year that had passed had also planted a seed of mistrust inside me, so I did not fully trust that what I was building was consistent.

The night before, I had watched The Devil Wears Prada 2, known as TDWP2 in Vogue, for the second time, so I was still feeling the lingering influence of its immaculate fashion-world energy, its sense of power and precision, and the impeccable performances of the actors.

Miranda Priestly’s spirit was still around me, and knowing her mythology has long been linked to Anna Wintour, I decided to explore Anna’s life more closely.

I opened the library catalogue on my laptop and searched for Vogue, hoping I would find some archival issues here. Instead, among the top results, there she was — Anna Wintour, smiling behind her iconic glasses.

It read “Anna”. Simply “Anna”.
That was it, I had found her biography, written by Amy Odell.

I took a photo of the call number and took a stroll around the shelves and floors to look for “Anna”. I found her sitting on a shelf on the third floor, I reached for her, and with the excitement of someone who had just discovered a key, I started reading the introduction.

“Of course she was wearing the sunglasses.”

I began reading the description of what happens to be the day following Donald Trump’s first election as president, and the reactions it had caused within Vogue’s ranks and the all-staff meeting that followed.

What got my attention, however, was:

“Anna started the day as usual. She rose by 5:00 a.m., exercised at 5:30 or 6:00 (depending on whether she played her twice weekly tennis or worked out with her trainer), sat for thirty minutes for professional hair and makeup, and was then chauffered to her office at 1 World Trade Center, where her three assistants and her usual breakfast — a whole-milk latte and a blueberry muffin from Starbucks, which would mostly go uneaten — were waiting for her.”

I was thrilled and immediately thought to myself: “‘Rose by 5:00 a.m.’ What a tempting thought”. I read a few more paragraphs, left the book on the shelf again with the promise to continue reading it every day, and returned to my seat.

I already knew that Kris Jenner, for example, wakes up at 4:30 a.m. every day and that waking up early is a habit that many successful people have. But still under the spell of TDWP2 and Miranda Priestly, somehow the idea really was tempting, and I started thinking about whether I could apply this routine to my life, too.

Maybe it was also because Anna Wintour made the idea feel less like productivity and more like authorship. I could sense that the reason behind her waking up so early isn’t just because “successful people wake up early”, but because she might like psychological control over the day. Mornings are quieter. She avoids reactive chaos. So I decided to try it out the following morning.

When my alarm rang at 5:00, I stood up, not fighting against it, but actually feeling the quiet pride of having achieved a small victory against the version of myself who always negotiated with the alarm.

I did yoga, which had already become part of my routine. I had breakfast. I got ready. Then I walked to the cultural centre, ordered my hot chocolate with coffee, waited for the library to open, and returned to the third floor, where Anna was sitting on the shelf.

Reading her biography became one of my morning rituals.

Around the same time, I subscribed to Vogue. That, too, became part of the ritual: hot chocolate with coffee, Vogue before the library, then Anna, then the work of the day.

It sounds small because most rituals do. That is their power.

My therapist has taught me a lot about structure recently. Not structure as punishment or the enemy of creativity, but structure as the environment that makes change possible.

It appears that if we look at change as a wave, then structure is the shore.

Motivation is a feeling. Discipline is a decision.

But structure is the habitat that makes decision-making and discipline simpler. Structure is built by rituals and habits, and it helps you take the next step. It reduces the number of negotiations and removes the drama from beginning all over again.

And the reason why rituals are key to building long-lasting structure is that rituals are signals to the nervous system saying: this is where we start, this is how we continue, this is where we return when everything else becomes too loud.

Examples of my rituals: the morning drink; the same table; the book on the third floor; the Vogue article before work; the notebook; the opening of the day before the day opens its mouth.

Rituals are small ceremonies of self-trust and repeated gestures through which you tell yourself:

I am choosing myself, I am coming back again. I am not waiting for inspiration to rescue me from disorder. I am in control.

Now I wake up at 5:00 a.m. every day. I do yoga, aim to arrive at the cultural centre by 7:45, have my hot chocolate with coffee, study Turkish, read Vogue, read Anna, and then begin the tasks of the day.

And something has shifted.

Flawlessness is impossible, of course, the structure sometimes still breaks in the evenings. I still get tired. I still have teaching slots. I still occasionally feel the gravitational pull of old chaos. But there is now a backbone where there used to be longing.

I am feeling better than ever, I am writing and publishing, because now ideas are constantly coming to my mind, and I actually execute them. I have set up a content calendar and I am already filling July. I am beginning to feel, with surprising calmness, that I will not be teaching forever, because I finally built a structure that allows another life to become possible.

Most importantly, thanks to my therapist, Anna Wintour, Miranda Priestly — all three powerful women, three Devils in their own way — I realized that there’s beauty, almost frightening beauty, in a life run with precision, clarity, image, standards, and ritual.

And there is the quiet realization that structure itself has not made my life smaller, but more glamorous.

For years, I thought glamour belonged to clothes, labels, cities, hotel lobbies, and expensive cafés. And perhaps, it does, in part. But lately, I have started to see glamour differently — there is power in a life lived with intention, in knowing where your morning begins, in the discipline of protecting your mind before the world starts asking for pieces of it. It is taste, but also timing; standards, but also repetition; beauty, but also boundaries.

Life finally has somewhere to place its dreams.

And maybe, just maybe, inspiration is what appears after you sit at the same table, open the same notebook, and prove to yourself — morning after morning — that you are coming back.

An earlier version of this essay was originally published on I Couldn’t Help But Wonder on Medium. This version is now part of The Wonder Mag archive.

Lights. Camera. Action. Disco balls. Glam. Beauty. Reinvention. Words we use to define almost every major pop star, but words that do not fully hold the meaning of being understood as a person, not as a celebrity.

Kylie Minogue is one of the few artists that truly let us come into their world the moment we hit ‘play’ on her documentary series Kylie, released a month ago on Netflix. Being a fiend and supporter of hers, since I was a child, especially after her album Golden, I felt as if she was confiding in me, as I was watching the Netflix series.

She opens the doors to a life, glamorous on the outside, but much more raw and vulnerable on the inside, and by doing so, she lets us feel her closer than before. It becomes clear that the docuseries will be much more than just biography, gold pants, reinventions and comebacks.

On the surface, the Netflix project has all the ingredients of the familiar pop-star story — a young woman who becomes famous quickly, gets dismissed too easily and early, tries to escape the image that made her famous, survives what nearly breaks her, and returns to the stage stronger and more beloved than before. The actual story, however, is not that simple.

As I was watching Kylie a month after its release, what stood out to me was that the series traces the cost of becoming an image before fully becoming yourself.

At nineteen, Kylie Minogue was already a public persona defined by labels — the girl from Neighbours, the soap-opera sweetheart, Jason Donovan’s girlfriend, and after having released The Loco-Motion and I Should Be So Lucky — a bright young pop star. The world fell in love with Kylie before Kylie herself had enough time to define what that name could or should hold.

She was adored, criticized, packaged, mocked, misunderstood — and all of this happened while she was still simply… becoming a person.

Watching the first episode, we see that the first image of Kylie the pop star was created at absurdly fast speed. She remembers arriving in London to record I Should Be So Lucky, with only a few hours to spare before flying back to Sydney. At the production company, she says, they had almost forgotten she was there.

The song was written and recorded in a rush — Kylie remembers forty minutes, her then-producer, Pete Waterman, stretches the memory to two and a half hours. A song created at such speed turned into a global hit and turned her into an image she would spend years trying to understand, define, defend, escape and eventually reclaim.

At the same time, she was still starring in the Australian soap opera Neighbours— the series that made her a household name in the UK and beyond. There, she starred opposite Jason Donovan who somewhere between the takes would become her boyfriend off-screen as well as on-screen. Eventually, she had to be written off the series, because of the greater dream she had carried since childhood — becoming a singer.

Following the immediate success of her first singles and the love of the audience, the media began attaching labels to her — soap opera star, pop singer — and when they could no longer fully contain what she was becoming, she was given the dismissive nickname ‘The Singing Budgie’.

It had been cruel and an attempt to put her in a box, which is what she detests the most, as we understand throughout the series. It appears that back in the 1980’s it had not been common to have a career in various industries, but instead you had to choose one to stick to.

If she was a soap star, she could not be a serious singer. If she was a pop singer, she could not be an actress. If she was sweet, she was supposed to remain sweet and uncomplicated.

Then came Michael Hutchence.

The INXS frontman appears in the documentary as one of the first people who seemed to have seen Kylie as unfinished in a good way. After she and Jason Donovan broke up, her relationship with Hutchence began, and with it came Kylie’s first reinvention.

Towards the end of the first episode, we watch her wear a pixie-styled wig to an event in the end of the 1980s, holding hands with her new boyfriend, dressed in an outfit that tells us something has begun to shift. The safe, golden Kylie is still visible, but another Kylie is starting to appear. As the episode comes to its end, Pete Waterman remembers that people were already “used to Kylie,” so they had to find something that was not Kylie.

During her relationship with Hutchence, Kylie felt she had the permission to explore herself — in terms of fashion, different visuals, different energy, vibes, and to understand who she actually is. Her sister, Dannii Minogue reflects on that period by saying, “In her world back then, confidence was just everything.” Kylie herself says she was never wearing blinkers, but if she had any, Michael took them all off. She enjoyed traveling with him and ‘experiencing many firsts’.

The most important thing we find out is that this first reinvention was not a marketing strategy, but one where a young woman was asking whether she could exist outside the version of herself that the world had already approved of, even if not fully approved of.

We see a more confident Kylie telling Waterman that she no longer wants to keep the same image as before, and even though he could understand she wants to experiment, reluctantly disapproves of the idea at first, because people want the Kylie they know and love.

Still, she embarks on her next tour, Let’s Get to It, with John Galliano designing the costumes and an all-new couture wardrobe. Kylie hits the stage wearing ruffled mini-skirts, a plastic raincoat, a fishnet-and-lingerie piece, while indulging into theatricality, exposure, play. Kylie is ready to claim her new updated persona replacing the one the public first embraced.

The media, however, did not miss the chance to do what it had already done before. It branded this new image as “SexKylie,” and just like that, “The Singing Budgie” flew out of the window.

A woman makes a move, and the world rushes to capture and caption her.

Kylie continues touring, but her relationship with Hutchence slowly begins to fade. Despite her efforts to protect the relationship, he ends it, becoming another ‘first’ for her — her first heartbreak.

The breakup leads her to another kind of escape. Kylie goes to Paris, stepping away from the machinery that had labeled and shaped her, and there she meets her friend — artist and director, Katerina Jebb. Together, Kylie begins exploring the distance and the difference between the public persona and the private persona. The photographs they take together allow her to differentiate the two identities, and identify what is still hers beneath all the labels she was given.

That is where the first reinvention flows into the second, as we come to realize Kylie was not just trying to become sexier, cooler, darker, or more fashionable, but instead she was trying to find space inside the image where she could breathe.

The old Kylie was still there, the audience wanted her, the industry needed her, and soon the second reinvention would be defined not just through fashion and attitude, but through music itself.

And it gets more complicated because escaping the image can become another image, too.

After her contract with Waterman’s label comes to an end, Kylie signs with Deconstruction. Smaller, but edgier. She knows she can experiment more. She dips into a different vocal delivery and different sounds. Her move to Deconstruction though is strategic for her because it shows her attempt to set a definition of ‘Kylie’ before the world would do so.

She tries to prove she is more than the old ‘versions’ of Kylie, more than ‘The Singing Budgie,’ more than ‘SexKylie,’ and she succeeds in complicating the image. But she risks becoming trapped by the opposite demand— be darker, indie, serious, credible, as Nick Cave, frontman of the rock band Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds, says in the docuseries.

Nick becomes a key figure in this period, especially after their duet — the murder ballad Where The Wild Roses Grow. In the documentary, he describes their work and friendship as an ‘escape’ for both of them. He says Kylie was the force of change for him (considering he was labeled ‘The Australian nightmare’ by media), and equally, he was a force of change for her, too, as he reminisces she was a ‘prisoner of an image.’

Under his influence, Kylie Minogue begins writing her own lyrics, thus, having more creative input and control over her work. This leads to the album Impossible Princess which defines her experimental era. The release is again followed by enormous media criticism, putting her in a box, this time dismissed as “Indie Kylie,” “disappointing,” “irritating,” billboards saying “We’ve decided what to do with Kylie’s music. Don’t play it.” All too far from what the public expected her to be.

After Impossible Princess fails to meet commercial expectations, her time with Deconstruction comes to an end. At that point, surrounded by the noise of the outside world that she was never really number one, never really a pop star, never an influence, she is facing the possibility of having to return to her career in acting.

This period is also marked by Michael Hutchence’s death. In the series, Kylie reflects on how much he appreciated who she was, and how, with him, she felt valued, protected, nurtured, and believed in.

“He really didn’t want me to become someone else for him at all. He was encouraging me to discover me.”

Following Michael’s funeral, something pivotal happens — Cave invites Kylie to recite at what was called The Poetry Olympics — “two days and nights of continuous poetry” at the Royal Albert Hall. And there, in one of the most traditionally elitist artistic spaces, Kylie walks onstage to recite the lyrics of I Should Be So Lucky.

The audience recognizes the song. The room responds.

The old Kylie, the one she had been trying so hard to escape, suddenly fills the space again.

For Kylie, it becomes the moment she is “face-to-face” with her old self again. And Cave recalls it with striking honesty: no one willingly wants to be indie and Kylie is “a force” precisely because she can unite thousands of people through pop.

“The great beauty of pop music,” he says, “is that it is a joy machine”.

And maybe the old Kylie was never the enemy of Kylie the person, maybe the enemy was all of the shame that was attached to the public persona, and “being put in a box”. This is where the power of her reinventions lies — she never wants to become one fixed thing. She wants to be fluid and free to follow the creative force behind her machinery wherever that force needs to go.

With that realization, she returns to pop with the distinction that the genre was never what made her small, but the way other people treated her fueled her need to reinvent.

Her new goal is to do “mega pop” and with Spinning Around, the documentary presents Kylie as someone reentering the pop industry differently. It is like ‘back to basics’ but empowered by creativity and wisdom.

In Kylie’s own terminology coming back has its own meaning, too:

“The irony is ‘Kylie’ does mean boomerang,” she says. “I do my best to come back.”

After the massive success of Spinning Around, the iconic gold pants — which had been in Kylie’s possession long before the video, tucked away at the back of a drawer before being resurrected — become part of her mythology. The glamour the smile, the confidence carry the same meaning, too.

Then with the release of Can’t Get You Out of My Head, Kylie realizes that:

“For the first time, I wasn’t trying to be someone else.”

This is essential because it shows the determination behind her new eras — she does not need to escape the image, she knows how to control it and reshape it on her own terms. And this is the exact place where the old Kylie and the new Kylie stop fighting each other.

But just when she seems to have found a version of pop that belongs to her and has reclaimed her number ones on the charts, life interrupts her performance in the most brutal way by returning her glamorous image to the body beneath it.

Embarking on a world tour and announced to headline Glastonbury, Kylie discovers a lump in her breast. At the time, she is in London so she goes to a hospital to have it checked. Doctors first tell her it is fine, but she continues to experience fatigue, wondering she is too old to keep doing this. It has nothing to do with age and following her return to Australia and her worsening symptoms, she goes for another screening where concerns begin to emerge.

After biopsies, she is given the news she has breast cancer.

“Nothing felt real,” she says, “and yet it couldn’t be more real.”

Here, the significance of Kylie’s family comes into focus — her parents call her sister Dannii to explain the urgency of the situation. Dannii at the time is in London and immediately has to return to Australia. Because it is a 26-hour flight, by the time she lands in Sydney, she is ‘welcomed’ by the press, already informed of Kylie’s diagnosis. Kylie had let the media know what was happening despite ‘needing stillness,’ because she ‘felt pressured to do so’ due to having to postpone her tour and having to cancel Glastonbury.

For years, the public had consumed Kylie as an image — her whole essence had been styled, photographed, toured, desired, criticized, adored, but now it suddenly returned to vulnerability. And even in that critical moment, the media wanted access.

The most private part of her life became public before she could even process what was happening. Reporters knew where she would have the lump removed, and according to the docuseries, members of the medical team were offered large amounts of money to take photographs of Kylie inside the hospital.

Following the surgery, she decides to go to Paris for her treatment. She is followed by her mom.

“I needed her now more than ever,” Kylie says.

What follows are months of pain and darkness:

“I felt removed from my body. Removed from the world. And the mind goes to really dark places,” she remembers.

Dannii does not leave her sister’s side either. Working in London, she would often travel to Paris to help with however she can. Eventually, she discovers that the most useful way to be present was to play music, the way they had when they were children:

“I thought about what had always kept us together,” Dannii says. “Okay, I’ll play music. That went back to what we knew. Back to the beginning. That feeling of being around the record player again. That feeling of family.’

It was again music that kept them going. And one night, in the hospital, Kylie sees the Eiffel Tower sparkling through a small window as if it was sparkling for her:

“There was one little window, and through [it], the Eiffel Tower started sparkling. And I was like, I’m not finished. This is not where I say goodbye.”

Soon, after recovery and after being told she was cancer-free, Kylie begins making public appearances again, slowly returning to the spotlight.

Her diagnosis and her path give rise to what becomes known as “The Kylie effect”, with more women going for screenings after hearing her story. She becomes a survivor and, in her own way, an activist.

But the documentary also makes clear that survival came with a cost.

Cancer did not only interrupt her tour, but also possible futures, including becoming a mother. Kylie postponed chemotherapy to try IVF, a significant risk, but her dream to have a baby had been stronger. All the attempts were unsuccessful and although she was vocal about the challenges she had gone through, the media asked insensitive questions about whether she had considered motherhood or marriage earlier.

At one point, Kylie writes a song about what could have been, a song to an unborn child and she sings it in the documentary. Some losses are unlived lives we learn.

In 2006, fans were still holding on to tickets from the cancelled tour, and Kylie begins preparing to resume it. Calling it Showgirl: Homecoming Tour she sets dates in Australia and the United Kingdom. Although she describes herself as “not being as strong and as fit as before,” she pushes through the physical obstacles and when it got too hard she would read letters that her fans were sending her, one of which reads:

“If you ever get scared, just know that in every single second of every single day, one of your fans is thinking of you”.

And that is how Kylie concludes:

“Life makes sense to me on stage.”

We see the tour opening, the crowds, and then the documentary moves thirteen years forward. In 2019, Kylie is again announced to headline Glastonbury which is not only a career milestone or a dream come true, but a dream returning years after it was taken away. And this time, she is more than ready to take the stage, and turn on the joy machine that her pop music has become, facing an audience of two hundred thousand people.

In the final minutes of the series, we become Kylie’s confidants as she shares the story she had kept to herself. During a recording session, she delivers an acoustic performance of her song Story.

The first lyrics are:

“I had a secret that I kept to myself,
I had a one-way ticket that was going nowhere.”

Through tears, she shares with her team, and with us, that she had been diagnosed with cancer again in 2021, and that she became a “shell of a person.” In 2005, the story became public quickly because the tour, the press, and the whole machinery made privacy impossible. This time, she keeps the second diagnosis private, and thus, she owns the timing of the story. After treatment and recovery, while promoting her 2023 album Tension, she had the opportunity to reveal what had happened, but she never felt it was the right moment.

And this brings us to the final shift — in her past, being loved came before being understood by the audience and even by herself. Being public happened before being private. But now she decides when the public gets access, making this the final act of self-definition.

Following the success of Padam Padam, a Grammy award, two albums, a world tour in 2025, Kylie Minogue stands as a woman who has lived long enough inside the image to decide what that image means.

By the end, Kylie becomes much more than a documentary about a pop star and it can be seen as an example of what it means to be made public before you are ready and have your image loved before the person behind it is understood. It can rank among the best documentary series about celebrities — the production, the intimacy, the vulnerability, the laughs we share with her, the tears we cry together…

They all bring us closer to a superstar who is just a human beneath the glam, the makeup, and the spotlights. And the documentary does not ask us to admire Kylie because she has kept reinventing herself for decades, it reminds us that there is a cost of being turned into an image, but there is also a force that drives you to determining what that image means to you.

Towards the end of the docuseries, Kylie gives pop one of its most generous definitions:

“Pop music nurtures me. Pop can elate you. If you’re depressed, it can soothe you. It can be a type of salvation for some people.”

Then comes the line that feels like the whole documentary exhaling:

“My story continues. And you are a part of my story.”

But perhaps the real power of Kylie is that, by the time she says it, the story finally belongs to her. Not to the critics, not to the tabloids, not to the industry, not to illness, not to the first version of Kylie the world decided to love.

To her.

Kylie is now streaming on Netflix.

An earlier version of this essay was originally published on I Couldn’t Help But Wonder on Medium. This version is now part of The Wonder Mag archive.

The Wonder Mag began with one of my typical questions, clicking with a pair of Manolo Blahniks:

I couldn’t help but wonder…
What does culture reveal about the ways we move through modern life?

For a while, that question lived under the name I Couldn’t Help But Wonder on Medium - a publication for essays on culture, music, love and heartbreak, identity, and the weather system of the universe called “Modern Life.”

The question remains, but the room is expanding.

The Wonder Mag is a culture publication from Istanbul where glamour and wonder coexist beautifully. It is a place for pop icons, reinvention, love, city life, media, beauty, longing, and the private lives behind public personas.

Culture here is the entire infrastructure. A pop song or an album can become emotional architecture. A red carpet can turn into a power study. A magazine cover can become a mirror. A breakup can be a salvation. A woman being called “too much” can reveal everything about the room that tried to contain her.

This is not a relaunch yet. Think of it as a quiet beginning.

Over the next months, I will be bringing essays, letters, interviews, and cultural criticism, while letting the publication find its shape. Most pieces will be free. If you want future essays, delivered directly to your inbox, you can subscribe.

I couldn’t help but wonder, and I decided to keep asking.

Because sometimes it is better to stay with the question than to walk away with the answer.

Welcome to The Wonder Mag.